PM outlines his defence plans against China

The Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, outlined his plans for defence should China attack Australia.

In a cozy interview in a Canberra cafe, with one of Parliament Houses window cleaners, known as Jill, it was revealed, by way of overhearing through a dirty window, that big plans are now in the making and new strategies are also being put into place.

The rumour of war has been uttered around Parliament by several high ranking politicians, including Defence Minister, Peter Dutton.

Defence Minister Peter Dutton gatecrashed a party put on by the Defence Force, who were all dressed in bright rainbow coloured clothes, to show recognition to the LGBQT+ members of the forces. But he quickly shut it down.

We will have none of this rubbish here, if you want to that sort of stuff, do it out at sea.

Getting back to my Cappuccino and Jill, [which isn't her real name] said that relations are heating up between America, which would put us, [Australia] in the firing line.

They should have just picked up the dam phone.

Mr Morrison, said wiping a tear from his eye, "why didn't they just pick up the dam phone?"

The P.M referring to the Chinese Consulate refusing to answer the phone for many days, he [the P.M.] feels that all this could have been resolved. Even to the point of offering them Tasmania, as a peace offering.

Jill, who just finished taking a sip of her Latte, leaving a frothy moustache just above her freshly coated red lipstick lips, went on to say, Mr Morrison said he would fight fire with fire. Not referring to our bushfires, of course, as he wasn't in Australia at the time.

He, [the P.M.] was referring to Ancient Technology, The Bagwa Mirror!

This idea was considered a stroke of genius from his cabinet, even from the Greens and the Opposition.

Mr Morrison's brilliant plan is to place large Bagwa Mirrors all around Australia, these Bagwa Mirrors will be of the convex style to ward of negative energy.

The idea has gained popularity even with Mr Bill Shorten former leader of the opposition. This is great, finally we have a leader that knows what he is doing.

When he, [Mr Shorten] was asked how big will the mirrors actually be, he just held up his arms to indicate that they will be big, as shown in the photo.

Strategically place Bagwa Mirrors around Australia will be our Major Defence against China.

Jill returned from the Ladies and ask me why I did not tell her she had froth under her nose.

I smiled and appoligised, then informed her that I like women with a moustache, she looked puzzled for a moment, then gave me her mothers phone number. Oh the story, that's right.

Jill went on to tell me that, these particular Bagwa Mirrors, would be about twice the size of a drive-in screen and would be placed strategically around Australia, at the most vital points, some states would have two maybe three. However, Canberra will have three on its own to protect the most important of all. None other than the Prime Minister,

Map outlining positions of Bagwa Mirrors

These Mirrors must be made in China for Authenticity!

The P.M. then asked the Minister for Foreign Affairs, Marise Payne, to make a purchase of fifteen convex Bagwa Mirrors from China.

Mr Morrison conceded, as usual, that Australian workers were not up to the task of constructing or building anything, and that he would rather pay three or four times more than they are worth, even if they only lasted a very short time. Because it would be more important to get them here on time than if they actually worked properly. Both Ms Payne and Mr Dutton agreed by nodding their heads like the little dolls you see on a car dashboard. [this was Jill's description not mine].

Mr Morrison went on to indicate that the Chinese people firmly believe in this mumbojumbo stuff, so it would only stand to reason, that they respect their own culture.

It is understood that China has refused to make the Bagwa Mirrors because it is not in the best interest of China. Also that this request has caused further tensions between Australia and China.

Mr Morrison has now put out tenders in Australia for the construction of fifteen Convex Bagwa Mirrors.

PS: I called Jill's mother and I am happy to report that we have a Date for next Saturday!