Morrison Gatecrashes G7

Prime Minister of Australia, Scott Morrison, tried to gatecrash the G7 Summit in Cornwall this week, only to have his personal Air Force plane diverted to another airfield some distance away. The excuse given for the diversion was due to fog, and his [ Mr Morrison's] plane was unable to land safely in Cornwell. Meanwhile the Prime Minister of Canada, Mr Justin Trudeau and Ms Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, had no problems landing in the fog.

We will roll out the Red Carpet for the Australian Prime Minister, Mr Scomo, in a deserted Airfield, somewhere.

We will roll out the Red Carpet for the Australian Prime Minister, Mr Scomo, in a deserted Airfield, somewhere away from Cornwell. There will be a few people there to act as if they were happy to receive him, [Mr Scomo] and wave the Australian flag. Unfortunately we could not get two flags the same colour, so we just added a seven pointed star and the Southern Cross to one of our own flags, the English Postal Service. The only people we could get to attend, were prisoners from a local detention centre, who we dressed up as Military cadets.

However, the Prime Minister, Mr Scomo, did not notice any difference and had a nice chat with all of the prisoners, one who was recently charged with death threats against our own Prime Minister, Boris Johnson.

Australian Prime Minister walks the red carpet with his bottom button on coat undone causing his tie to flap in the wind. Mask was worn only to keep the flies out of his mouth.[Photo by Some Random Guy]

The Diversion is only put in place for our special dignitaries.

Mr Scomo was told that the diversion was only put in place for special dignitaries, and it was not uncommon for these dignitaries to travel seven hours to their final destination by car.

Mr Scomo was very appreciative of the consideration.

Once the Prime Minister's car had left, all the Journalists including myself, Consuela Alvarez, were invited to Champagne and a delicious seafood lunch with fresh lobster, oysters, prawns and scampi, followed by more Champagne.

After we were well fed we were put back on the Prime Ministers Plane and flew to Cornwell, where we were greeted by other Journalists from the G7 countries, we then enjoyed a few nice cold beers until the Prime Minister's, [Mr Morrison] car arrived.

Mr Morrison's car was delayed arriving to Cornwell.

Unfortunately, Mr Morrison's car was delayed arriving at Cornwell, Firstly, Mr Scomo's car ran out of fuel then broke down and once the car was fixed and on its way again, the car then got four flat tires.

The driver, Mr Rajahee Dipittah, a worker at the local car manufacturing factory, had said that this was not uncommon for their cars to react in this manner, but it was only a minor problem and they would have everything sorted out before they start exporting to Australia.

Mr Rajahee Dipittah, also said, that even though they had all these problems with the car, the Prime Minister of Australia was very impressed, and invited the driver and all his family to come and live in Australia, The PM, [Mr Scomo] also said he would provide housing and a job plus financial assistance when Mr Dipittah arrived.

Members of the G7 enjoy a drink and a little joke about Scott Morrison.

Some of the members of the G7, took a little time off to have a drink and social chat before the Prime Minister of Australia arrived at Cornwell.

Seeing as though Mr Morrison had at least seven hours of travel, they could relax and even tell jokes about him, especially the one about going on holiday in Hawaii while his country burnt to the ground, and how God spoke to him through a painting.

I must admit, that only standing a few feet away from them, [The G7 members] I too had to have a little chuckle, apparently Prime Minister Trudeau, heard me, and said, this not for your ears.

Being a good reporter as always, I jumped at the chance and asked a most serious question,

"Which of all of you will have Mr Morrison sitting in between you at dinner?"

Well laughter turned to panic, it was if world war three had just broken out, They [The G7 Members] suddenly turned on each other claiming they would not be seated next to him, [Mr Morrison]. Then they all agreed he could sit next to President Biden.

Our P.M. didn't know his own flag which amused the President of U.S.A

The President of the free world, Joe Biden, ask his personal photographer, to take a photo of himself and Prime Minister Boris Johnson, the Photographer tried to set up the shot with both the American President and the English Prime Minister standing in front of their respective flags. Just before the photo was taken, the Australian Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, photo bombed the session and stood in front of the American flag, which was to the great amusement of the American President.

Unfortunately, Mr Johnson was still suffering from a wedgie which Mr Morrison gave him just before the picture was taken.

Scott Morrison interrupts President Biden morning stroll.

The Prime Minister, of Australia, Scott Morrison, missed out on his meeting with President Biden, due to an unscheduled landing at an abandoned airstrip due to fog, yesterday.

It is believed, as told to me by the president's personal bodyguard, as seen in the photo with his eyes beaded in on Mr Morrison, that the President was not too enthusiastic about meeting with the Australian Prime Minister.

Another bodyguard tried to stop Mr Morrison from entering the Presidents 'Personal Space',

however, Mr Morrison, having watched many games of Rugby League, preformed a, duck and weave with a dummy run to the President's side.

Mr Morrison was also overheard by the gardener, as they walked past him, that he mentioned to the President he would like to be a part of the G7, and that both him [Mr Morrison] and the President would get on great guns, which made the personal bodyguard behind them more angry and reached for his gun, until he was told it was just a figure of speech and Morrison didn't have a gun, as God was on his side.

The gardener who moved along with the entourage, surprisingly unnoticed, also heard Mr Morrison indicate he would be of great value to the G7, as he was wearing a red tie and a button on his coat lapel. Which to Mr Morrison meant they, [ Morrison and Biden] had the same Values and dress sense.

Mr Biden took a moment to reply, saying to Mr Morrison, " You know we already have seven members of the G7, and adding you, would make it eight, and this is not a G8 Summit, it is a G7 summit."

Mr Morrison's reply was, "yes".

Free Trade Agreement between Australia and the UK.

"This is a great day for Australia and UK relationships"

A free trade agreement between Australia and the UK was announced today by the Prime Minister of Australia, Scott Morrison.

"This is a great day for Australia and UK to form an agreement and further the friendship between our two countries." Mr Morrison said at hidden spot far away from the other members of the G7.

It is understood, by way of an interpreter for Mr Johnson, [Prime Minister of England] as his accent was a little hard to understand by the Australian journalists, but according to Youseph, our Lebanese interpreter, it all had to do with Vegemite.

Youseph, went on to explain the details of the Free trade agreement, made by the Australian Prime Minister and the English Prime Minister.

In a nutshell, [ I might say at this time we were all very impressed with Youseph saying, in a nutshell.] Australia will primarily export Vegemite to the UK, and in return will import, cars, trains, ferries and buses manufactured with cork, [I believe he meant manufactured in cork county]. As well as fishnet stockings, tee shirts with the English flag printed on not only the front but the back as well, plus other useful items such as chicken, corned beef, dumplings, warm beer, salt and vinegar chips, mens leather underpants, and those little tie things that you tie freezer bags with.

We want to help Britain get back on their feet and provide them with jobs.

Mr Morrison smiled as he held a free packet of Tim Tams, " this will mean jobs, jobs, jobs, I can't say it enough, jobs, jobs, jobs."

During question time, I had the opportunity to ask our Prime Minister, Mr Morrison, about our beef export to the UK, his reply, astounding as it was, told us that the beef was the Vegemite, beef extract, its a great deal, they will buy tons of the stuff.

I then asked Mr Johnson, did he actually like Vegemite? and his response via Youseph said, "What is Vegemite I ordered this jar of Boris."